We need to borrow another word from German. The German language is great because it has few elemental words, which are then glommed together in concatenations of tremendous length and flavor. The English and Americans, whose lexicon has five times more words than any other language on earth, are always willing to borrow a new creation whenever it's necessary. Now is one of those times. First, we took schadenfreude. This is the delight one takes in the pain caused by someone else's psychotherapy bills. Then, there was fahrfergnuggen. This is the driving pleasure one senses when the moonroof is open, you're zooming down a country lane, and you realize that your new Audi 80 is just an overgrown VW Jetta. Now is the time for a new savory Teutonic collation. I don't know German so I can't make a suggestion, but let me describe the feeling, the zeitgeist we need to capture. It is the colossal ignorance, the smug pride in stupidity, and the overwhelming lack of common sense of audiences that cheered Independence Day. Don't get me wrong: I'm not jealous of their commercial success. Like Barnum said, you can never go broke underestimating the good taste of the American public. But I am deeply ashamed of moviegoing audiences all over America. From the first frame of the film, every possible error that could have been made about common sense and science was made, and made with relish. Four seconds into the film, the dust on the moon starts moving because of the vibrations from the passing mother-ship. Whoops, kind of forgot there's no air to transmit the sound! Forty minutes into the film, the Big Death Ray sends out an explosion that spreads for 10 miles. Explosions move at the speed of sound, but Look Out! Better try to run away! Right the way through to the last frames, where the alien ships are all brought down from the skies...and look, every single one missed falling straight down on the cities & monuments & people underneath! Strong headwinds? I don't think so. Ok, ok, I don't want to sound like a science snob. Forget that the audience is being trained to be ignorant. I managed to see ID4 in Paris, at the largest movie screen in Europe. It really is big, and their sound system is not to be believed. So I was certainly impressed by the special effects. What made me cringe was the French audience's gasps at some of the film's dialog and the sentiments behind it. That rousing speech by El Presidente near the end, the one about everybody achieving their independence day? Nothing but groans. The various love-interests? Yawns. They could see that these were all cheap emotional shots, producers pushing the audience's emoto-buttons. The French, of course, have some of their own howlers to account for, when it comes to cultural ignorance and assininity. Take Jerry Lewis...no wait, he's one of ours... But I have to agree with them that Mars Attacks is in every way a better movie than Independence Day. Besides being more entertaining, it's actually more scientifically accurate than ID4. It also has stupid characters that make you think that they are stupid, which is a genuine thought that didn't need to be synthesized from Hollywood's audience-testing system. There are lots of creeps and a reasonable amount of betrayal in the film... all good lessons that will lead audiences everywhere to higher thoughts and cultural achievement. I don't know what this new German word should be, but I know we need one fast. Take a look at the new fall lineup on TV--oy, it's four variations on Fox, three of them without Babewatch. America is about to embark on HDTV, a new system that will bring a bigger, clearer picture. The problem is, the picture will also be stupider. Over the next couple of years, all the networks' money will go into all the new capital equipment required, and not into the "soft stuff" of the programs. Looks like it's time to crack open those classic comics I never got around to reading in college. dave