You may remember from a recent 'postcard' that I sent you, the sentiment that the French are quite tasteful people. I believe the exact phrase was "reeking with good taste." Then again, you may be an ignorant slob and remember no such thing. In either case, I'm here to provide an important update, refining my earlier observation. The French are, more precisely, reeking with taste. Today'd evidence is the movie "Mars Attacks," which has been rated by every movie reviewer on the planet as "no stars" despite the number of run-down stars who appear in it. You only have to see the trailers to know it's a real stinker. "Independence Day" evidently has a better script, and a stronger raison d'etre to boot. With this ringing endorsement, what do you suppose I find in The City of Lights? It's playing in every major theater, sometimes on two screens. This should come as no surprise to people who remember the enormous celebrity of Jerry Lewis, literally a genius of obnoxiousness. The frogs just couldn't get enough of him. But what accounts for this incredible fallibility? I think it's an excess of smelly cheese. From an early age, the French consume more than 450 kinds of distinctly overpowering solidified sludge. This causes mucus impaction in the sinuses (we all know they're snotty) which starves the brain of oxygen, causes pressure on the septum, and gradually pushes it's way into their cerebrum where a lobotomy is gradually performed. And so, as Paul whatis on the AM radio says, now you have the whole story. dave