I realize that you all may not have that much time to read my inspired "works," but we are right now at an historic moment. Let me be the first to tell you, the sexual revolution is now complete. In a significant sense, the sexual revolution was started not by Messers Heffner, Guccione, and Flynt. It was really our leader, Jack Kennedy. Let's face it, he was the first president in looooong time who was pleasant to look at. He was also charming, witty, magnetic, even magnanimous. He was sexy. At a subliminal level the country kind of got the picture when Marilyn Monroe sang "Happy Birthday, Mr. President." So he set the whole thing in motion, so to speak. And now we're perched at the moment in American history that concludes that transition. America has been unbelievably prudish, in public and in private, essentially since its founding; after WWII, we went completely nuts trying to clamp down on things. Well, thanks to the current occupant of the presidential palace, we've blown all that to hell. From not inhaling when enjoying marijuana to not having sex when being at the receiving end of repeated oral affections, Clinton has compromised and prevaricated out of existence America's moralistic tendencies. You don't believe my "we're just following our leader's morals" argument? Take a look at the cover of this week's "Vanity Fair," which along with "Premiere" and "W," have taken this opportunity to publish some very alluring nudes. This is the popular media capitalizing on the permission that our elected officials obviously enjoy. And I'm pleased to report that all this is playing quite well in Peoria (or, more precisely: Monterey, San Antonio, Austin, Atlanta, Chicago, and Washington DC, all of which I've visited over the last 7 days). In talking to cabbies and listening to the local talk-shows, basically nobody thinks this is that big a deal. The only argument I've heard more than once is "wow, with all these issues, don't you think that the tension is going to distract Clinton from his presidential duties?" This, of course, kind of misses the point that it was precisely tension relief that started things off. Will Congress impeach Big Bill? Not a chance. Impeachment is a political act, not a legal ones. The democrats don't want it, and republicans are actually much better off leaving Bill in place and smearing the democrats with allusions for the next several campaigns. Impeach Bill for fooling around? It'll just create a political martyr. So, for a long time to come we'll all been given society's permissions to be sexual beings. Good idea...