<written in 1998>


			Postcard
			--------

This postcard is coming to you from the smallest room in the 
house.  Normal people don't even write regular postcards while
on the throne, let alone an email version.  But you see, it's 
become important to me to always have my fingers glued to a 
keyboard tapping away, recording what could just be my last 
words.

Anyway, thanks to battery-operated computers you can be the 
lucky recipient of my latest "thoughts."  Here goes.

I have just developed some advice that will be important to 
your health and safety:  never shake hands with a CEO.  Ever.
This might sound a bit extreme--you may think I'm anti-corporate 
or something--that's not it at all.  This is a simple matter of 
e coli.  

I have just witnessed yet another CEO exit the washroom without 
washing.  El Grande Queso simply did his business and went 
directly back to business sin lave su manos.  This is the fourth 
CEO in a row I've worked for who makes a habit of this, and in 
my entire professional career I've witnessed only one CEO wash 
his hands after using a restroom. This is something of a 
dangerous trend.  

Now, you might be asking yourself (1) what is Dave doing in the
toilet with CEOs, or (2) why is Dave spending so much of his time
noticing whether CEOs wash their hands or not, or (3) when is
Dave going to get a life already, or even (4) where is the 'delete'
button.  You might wonder all these things, but I don't have
any answers for any of them.

The other thing I can't answer is "Why is the ONE person in an
organization most likely to shake hands with others also one of 
the most likely to have doubtful manual hygene?"  Who is *supposed* 
to be the most hifalutin and refined person in the organization?  
Who is the one who orders silly stickers to be placed all over 
the bathroom in Spanish warning workers about required post-
scatological practices?  

I'm sure that in their great big brains CEOs have dozens of excuses,
including such hits as:

      "I'm too busy to be sanitary."

      "Workers and colleagues have everything to gain from 
       contact with my microbes.  They will strengthen the
       organization by thinning the herd of weaker specimens."

      "As the dominant alpha-male of this particular hierarchy,
       it's important that the only germs that come into direct
       contact with my skin be close, personal associates."

If you can't "get into" this style of thinking, it's clear that
you're just not suited in attitude or experience for the executive
ranks.  In fact, you're probably so unsophisticated that you didn't 
know that already.

dave