I woke up this morning feeling perfectly fine.  And then 
a bunch of bad middle-eastern puns started oozing their
way into my consciousness.  I thought I'd share them with 
you in the hopes that the condition is communicable and
the whole internet gets overrun with stuff along the lines of:

(see answers below...the set-ups are numbered ... 
also apologies for the misspelling of Yiddish words)

1.  What does the Jewish husband say on Sunday morning 
when he's tired of getting the same old thing -- bagels, lox, 
cream cheese?

2.  What does the Canadian Jew drink on Saturday while 
watching college football on TV (like THAT would ever
happen)?

3.  What would the marquis say outside the mortuary in Cairo
where there's a wake for the drummer from a bad but famous 
Swedish rock 'n' roll band?

4.  What do you use to improve the breath of a whirling
dervish who's been eating too much Greek fast food?
 (two-way bad pun here)

5.  What kind of people was it rumored that Lenny Bruce
was really attracted to?

6.  What's the name of the organization that helps people
who've become too enamored of imbibing the famous
Syrian liqueur, "Leb"?

7.  What were all the pharaohs a part of?






1.		Oy Veh!  It's Schmear (say if fast, slur the syllables)

2. 		Shabat Labatt

3.		Abba Cadavre (say it really fast...slur it...think
		Aladdin)

4. 		Gyro Scope

5.		Gay goys

6.		Leb anon.

7. 		Pyramid scheme